Mental Health

Mental Health is a major topic these days. Mental Health extends far beyond simply psychiatric diagnoses: psychiatric issues like Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia, amongst others, are labels to describe difficulties somebody faces. I would say that, like a computer program crashing, things like manic episodes occur when something has gone wrong. (Perhaps the episode was unavoidable, not caused by the fault of anybody, but the same could be said of an unforseesable mechanical failure in a car: nobody's fault yet something genuinely has gone wrong.) With respect to the 'gone wrong' matter, the main thing is not to lay blame, but to learn all one can so as to hopefully reduce the chances of something going wrong in the same way in future.

My personal issues are Bipolar Disorder, with episodes that often include psychotic symptoms, and Autism. I do believe that the nature of my Autism, along with stresses of doing a Ph.D. that, at the time, appeared to be going nowhere, and the general stresses that Pretending To Be Normal and maintaining a social life places upon one's mind, are what contributed to the first major breakdown. I won't go into details, but my levels of worry, uncertainty, and anxiety peaked during the weeks in the lead-up to that first major episode in 2002. Subsequent episodes weren't necessarily preceded by such anxiety and worry, though some were. I do think that, once the first major episode has occurred, like damage caused by a short-circuit, the brain is rewired by the extreme release of things like reward chemicals, making it susceptible to experiencing major episodes in future. Part of my reason for trying to piece things together and share is the hope that it helps others avoid paths that lead into major episodes, where these might be avoidable. (I have no idea how much my experience generalises to others, nor to I have the means to learn this: I only know things from my perspective, and that perspective, like all personal perspectives, is unique in many ways.)